Male Monologue Assignment: You are to memorize this monologue and be prepared to perform it on stage tomorrow. THIS WILL BE A MAJOR (TEST) GRADE.
TIPS: Don’t stop, back up or laugh – this is called breaking character and will cause a major deduction in your grade. Perform the monologue as natural as possible as if you are that person talking to the audience. DON’T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK (make your character big, talk loud enough, have fun with it, take on traits of the character. Traits of the character would be how they walk and or move around, and how the sound when they speak. Your character should be very different than YOU.

That’s MY Dad!

I guess I must have been about eight. It was the first time my Dad took me to a real Major League
ballgame. Suddenly, I really had to go to the bathroom.

When I got back to my seat, this GUY was in it. This total stranger was in my seat, and he was talking to my Dad. And my Dad had his arm around the guy’s shoulder—not in a weird way, but you know, like guys bonding. And they were laughing. My dad used to put his arm around my shoulders like that! The men’s room was up a level from our seats, so I saw them before they saw me. And all I could think was, why is he talking to that guy? That’s my seat! That’s MY Dad!

I couldn’t move. I just stood there in the middle of the stadium frozen. I thought I’d been replaced. I wanted to scream, "No, Dad! I’ll be a better son! Whatever it takes, I’ll do it! Dad!" But I couldn’t. I just stood there. I guess I was crying.

This guy in a blue shirt came up and tried to find out what was wrong, but I couldn’t tell him. How could I tell him I was dumped by my DAD? So he kind of pried open my fingers, where I was holding my ticket, and saw where my seat was. He sort of pushed me along and we got down to my seat.

When we got there the guy stood up to let me sit down, and I saw who it was. "Hey, look who’s here," my Dad said. "It’s Mr. Allen! What do you know—he’s a huge baseball fan just like you!"

Mr. Allen was my gym teacher. I’ve hated gym class ever since.